May 20th [Fri]

I wish my fever had lasted longer.
Then I came back and reality's hitting me harder than ever.
I'm doing homework again, listening to the droning of teacher's voices, wishing I was somewhere else. Everyone's spirits seem to be sapped. Maybe it's the rain.
I keep thinking of this one recurring dream, galloping down the polo field fast, insanely fast. Come to think of it, I'm not even sure it's the field I'm galloping on, it could be the track. I can't remember. All I do remember is the speed.
My friends tell me I blank out on them sometimes. I didn't even realise.What's going on in my mind when I blank out? I don't know. How can I unconciously do something concious? This is waay deep.
I've got to stop this -- I'm getting morbid. All I know is that I desperately need to get away again.